Original Prompt: In some societies, students are expected to identify a career by the time they enter high school. Their courses of study in high school are selected to guide them toward a specific career. Do you think it is a good idea for students to commit to a career at a young age? Take a position on this issue. Support your response with reasons and examples.
Prompt Analysis: We are being asked whether or not they think that high school students should be expected to determine their career path before high school. Should they elect classes to take that can apply to their career, or elect classes that interest them?
Knee Jerk Reaction: A possible knee jerk reaction could be yes due to the fact that most teenagers feel like they already know what they want to do with the rest of their lives and feel like they could make the choice easily.
Mind Map:
Evidence For and Against:
- Students interests might change during their years in High School
- Forcing a student to do something that they don't want to do can result in a lack of work effort and them not actually doing their job
- Possible outcomes of schooling might affect a person's ability to go into that profession
- Teenagers might not be aware of what exactly a job entails when they decide to go to school for it
- Financial issues might not allow the student to pursue the education needed for a certain job
- Students might want the ability to pick their classes ahead of time to get required classes out of the way
- No time will be wasted on classes not needed for desired field
- People will have more experience when first entering their profession
Rough Draft Editing:
- Teenagers everywhere are constantly being asked what they want to do when they're older.
- Many of them have options to choose from and could even change their mind in the future, but unfortunately, a lot of teens and even children are forced to choose their careers at a young age and stick with it.
- This shouldn't be the right way for kids to choose what they want to do later in life because the people can easily change their mind before they even graduate high school, financial issues may arise which can prevent people to not get the education needed, and something as simple as forcing a student to do something they aren't interested in can lead to the student slacking off and not getting the work done to succeed.
| - A good topic sentence to lead into what the paragraph will be about.
- A summation is present and explains the topic sentence a bit more to let the reader get a better understanding of what will be the idea. It also shows the writer's position on the topic.
- This sentence gives pieces of evidence that could be talked about later in the paragraph. However, maybe let the evidence pieces not be explained and let the body paragraphs explain those.
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- Expecting students to choose a career by the time they are in high school not only stresses out the students, but could impact their life negatively.
- Choosing a career that they will work for most of their life is not an easy choice.
- They should be given time to experiment with different subjects, and explore potential job options stemming from these subjects.
- Every student should have the ability to be confident in the choice that will matter heavily in the future.
- However, if students are under pressure from parents and teachers to pick a career, they may pick a career that they don't like.
- Choosing the wrong career could make them have regrets and hate their job in the future.
- This not only makes their life miserable, but the hundreds of dollars they threw into their education in college could be a huge waste of money.
| - Consider changing "stresses out" to a synonym, such as "exasperates". And, the students being stressed out is negative, correct?
- Consider using the noun "students" rather than the pronoun "they".
- The comma is not needed, and you might consider a synonym to "subjects".
- Consider rewording section including "... will matter heavily in…".
- Take out "however", specify who "they" refers to.
- Consider replacing "hate" with "dislike" and maybe "future job" rather than "job in the future".
- This sentence is good.
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- With so many options available to us in terms of jobs, the idea that we must pick what we want to do for the rest of our lives when we're only teenagers is simply illogical.
- Humans change their minds every day, and although a student may feel like they know what their future career will be, the possibilities are endless and the likelihood that their mind will be changed increases with every new field of work created.
- Even if you have settled on exactly what you want to do with your life, the experience and education needed to pursue that career may make you change your mind.
- Some jobs require years of education and endless supplies of hard work, and those careers might not be the best option for those who don't enjoy school and/or don't have the money to throw at years of higher education.
- You simply cannot expect teenagers to make ill-informed decisions about what they want to be as an adult with having little to no knowledge of how much they may make, the years of schooling it may cost them, and the benefits they may receive.
| - The sentence can be shortened to "With so many job options available, the idea of teenagers picking one so early in life is illogical.
- "Increases with every new field of work created" isn't really needed and can be replaced with "increases as they age.
- Don't use "you". Keep the 3rd person throughout the paragraph.
- "Supplies of hard work doesn't sound right, change that part of the sentence to "some jobs require years of hard work and education."
- Again don't use you. Replace it with a member of the opposition.
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- While this argument may be rational to some, others see choosing a career path before high school to be beneficial in a variety of ways.
- Students who know what they want to do later in life have the advantage of taking required classes before their peers who are thinking about the same occupation.
- This lead over other students allows them to have more job offers, and even a higher salary.
- Furthermore, high schoolers would not have to take classes just for the exposure.
- These classes would only fill up a schedule, rather than being significant in the long run.
- By being required to pick beforehand, students would have the opportunity to enroll in classes that apply directly to their field of interest.
- Finally, those who know what they are interested will have more experience than those who do not.
- All of these advantages will put career driven students ahead of the crowd.
| - This sentence works great in the very beginning, it lays a nice foundation for what the rest of the paragraph will be about.
- Maybe provide examples of courses like this, like bringing up the Tech center or AP/DE classes.
- The beginning of this sentence is a bit confusing in terms of wording, I got kinda confused and had to read over it a few times (although that might just be me).
- The wording in 'taking classes just for the exposure' sounds a bit weird only because taking a class for exposure usually implies that it'll be useful in the long run.
- Maybe try phrasing this sentence a bit better, it gets a bit confusing along with sentence 4.
- This sentence makes a lot of sense and helps fix any confusion that might've been brought up in the previous two sentences.
- This sentence would be stronger with a bit more explanation and/or examples, rather than just stating a fact and then moving onto a new point.
- I really like this sentence as a conclusion, it helps tie all of the points together.
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- Expecting students to pick a career as soon as they enter high school is senseless.
- You never know what will happen in the future to cause a change in a student's interests or skill.
- With the variety of options to choose from, someone is bound to change their mind.
- Especially if they are constantly learning about new things.
- High schools shouldn't be so strict about guiding students to a certain job.
- Schools encourage students to be creative and try out new things so let them be free to decide for themselves.
| - This sentence is too demanding, it makes it sound like you won't listen to the opposite opinion.
- Don't use "you", try using "it is never certain that a student…"
- Sentences 3 and 4 should be combined
- "Especially" is not a strong sentence starter, either combine 3 and 4 or start with another clause.
- Same as sentence 1, sounds very harsh. Also is saying the same thing as sentence 1, so it is unnecessary.
- Add "should" somewhere in the sentence since you said that some schools actually do expect students to have a career already picked out.
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What Not to Do:
- Students should absolutely be required to figure out their career before High School.
- This requirement would allow for schools to focus on what classes students would actually need for their job.
- It also allows for teachers to work with students who actually want to be in their class.
- An understanding of complex algebra isn't always necessary for someone who wants to be an English major.
- Students might also enjoy their classes more if they go into a field of their choosing.
- This will encourage attendance.
- However, not every student knows what career they want to go into.
- In addition, not every family will have access to the funds necessary for their child's education.
- Many students will even change their minds halfway through school.
- A career as an astronaut might require more or less expensive education than a career as an accountant.
- Overall, because of the flighty minds of teenagers, as well as financial concerns, requiring students to choose their eventual careers before high school is not recommended.
| - This represents the knee-jerk reaction of a teenager as defined above.
- There is no lead-in so this might sound a bit choppy.
- This is a different argument; different arguments should be separated into different paragraphs.
- This sentence is out of order, it belongs in between the second and third sentence as it expands upon the second sentence.
- Again, this is another argument being presented in the same paragraph.
- This sentence is way too short, consider lengthening it, or just remove it altogether (it is another argument and should not be in the same paragraph).
- This sentence connotes that there is a change of opinion, though it may merely be opposition/refutation. If the latter is the case, it should be separated into a different paragraph.
- This too seems like a separate argument which should be moved to a separate paragraph.
- This sentence is either a separate point and should be moved, or it is relating to sentence 7 and should be moved between sentences 7 and 8.
- Sentence 10 is directly related to sentence 8, and should be moved to follow it.
- The opinion expressed in the concluding sentence is contradictory of the opinion expressed in the opening sentence. You should never change your opinion throughout your paragraph or even your paper.
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Final Draft:
Expecting students to choose a career by the time they are in high school not only stresses out the students, but could impact other aspects of their life negatively. Choosing a career that students will work for most of their life is not an easy choice. They should be given time to experiment with different categories and explore potential job options stemming from these subjects. Every student should have the ability to be confident in the choice that will seriously matter in the future. If students are under pressure from parents and teachers to pick a career, the students may pick a career that they don't like. Choosing the wrong career could make them have regrets and dislike their future job. This not only makes their life miserable, but the hundreds of dollars they threw into their education in college could be a huge waste of money.
With so many job options available, the idea of teenagers picking one so early in life is illogical . Humans change their minds every day, and although a student may feel like they know what their future career will be, the possibilites are endless and the likelihood that their mind will be changed increases with age. Even if a teenager feels as if they've settled on exactly what they want to do after graduating, the experience and education needed to pursue that career may make them change their mind. Some jobs require years of hard work and additional education, and those careers might not be the best option for those who don't enjoy school and/or don't have the money to throw at years of college. It's improbable to expect teenagers to make ill-informed decisions about what they want to be as an adult with having little to no knowledge of how much they may make, the years of schooling it may cost them, and the benefits they may receive.
While this argument may be rational to some, others see choosing a career path before high school to be beneficial in a variety of ways. Students who know what they want to do later in life have the advantage of taking required classes before their peers who are thinking about the same occupation. The tech center in Chesterfield County is a great opportunity for this. The advantage over other students allows them to have more job offers, and even a higher salary. Furthermore, classes could be more significant in the long run, and not just be taken to fill up a schedule. By being required to pick beforehand, students would have the opportunity to enroll in classes that apply directly to their field of interest. Finally, those who know what they are interested will have more experience than those who do not. All of these advantages will put career driven students ahead of the crowd.
Students having to pick a career as soon as they enter high school can be stressing. It is never certain that a student will know what will happen in the future to cause a change in a student's interests or skill. With a variety of options to choose from, someone is bound to change their mind, especially if they are constantly learning new things in school. Schools should encourage students to be more creative and try out new things so let them be free to decide for themselves.
Reflection: We made our authorial choices based on our overall opinion of the topic. We argued that opinion, and came up with points and facts to build upon. For the editorial points, we made sure that the author was sticking to the original reasoning and defending themselves well, while still leaving room for the opposition to have an argument.
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